Two big political events this week. Anew Congress started work and “The NewCelebrity Apprentice” arrived on TV.
“Celebrity Apprentice” is now hosted byArnold Schwarzenegger, a former actionmovie star who became a governor and isnow recycling back into entertainment.
He is replacing Donald Trump, a formerreality TV star now preparing to moveinto the White House. Trump’s cabinetchoices include one former governor whotransitioned into “Dancing With the Stars”and is now seeking to become secretary ofenergy.
On Wednesday we learned that OmarosaManigault, a former “Apprentice”contestant who’s said she’s done “20-plusreality shows,” is joining the new WhiteHouse staff.
I think we are seeing a pattern here. Twomajor questions:One is whether we’re going to wind upgetting the next generation of politicalleaders out of these shows. If there weretwo tracks to becoming a future presidentialcandidate, would you rather collectthousands of signatures to run for the stateassembly, or just spend a month locked ina house with a dozen strangers and 100cameras?O.K., you are a serious citizen and I dobelieve you would go for the signatures. Buttrust me, the future is not on your side.
The other question is whether the actualworkings of government are coming toresemble a long-running reality TV series.
Senate Republicans began their yearwith health care. Their plan requires bravelawmakers to vote that Obamacare bereplaced by Something Different. Nobodyknows exactly what Something Differentlooks like. The Republicans are just sureit’s out there — sort of like the hiddenimmunity idol on “Survivor.”“The answer here is bold action,” saidHouse Speaker Paul Ryan. Think of it thisway: Repeal is Season 1. To find out whatreally happens, you’re going to have totune in for Season 2, when Paul and thegang go off to a Pacific island, where theywill compete to find the health care planconcealed under a rock in the forest.
But about the first week of Congress. TheHouse Republicans started things off byvoting to castrate the office that overseeslegislators’ ethics. This was such a terriblebeginning that you can’t help wondering if itwas staged to gin up a little excitement andmake Trump, who tweeted his opposition,look … bold. It’s like one of those “RealHousewives” shows where people walk intothe room and instantly start telling X whatY just said about her downstairs.
The important thing was that Trumpexpressed his displeasure via Twitter,which is most certainly going to be theprime method of communication in realitypolitics.
How can you beat it? If the NorthKoreans say they’re building a weaponthat could nuke America, you tweet “won’thappen.” Mission accomplished. If there’sdeep confusion about Russian hacking inthe last election, you announce that you’llclear everything up by Tuesday. WhenTuesday arrives you can tweet that a criticalintelligence briefing had been delayed untilFriday. And just to be clear what you think offolks like the C.I.A., you put “Intelligence”in quotes and add “Very strange!”This is the future, people. Little tinymessages that end with a teeny-weenysentence with an exclamation point.
Soon we’ll look on email as an incrediblylaborious method of communication, likeour parents regarded 20-page letters writtenwith quill pens. Trump saw the future along time ago. “Half of my friends areunder indictment right now because theysent emails to each other about how they’rescrewing people,” he confided to HowardStern back in 2005. “They’ll write you amessage that they’re having sex with 15different married women. It’s unbelievable.
Email is unbelievable.”So unbelievable.
Trump actually did once have an emailaddress, MrTrump@GoTrump.com, whichwas advertised as a place where you couldboth do your travel booking and get “traveltips and advice” from the man himself. Thatbusiness is no more, like the Trump steaks.
However, the president-elect does stillhave a connection to “Celebrity Apprentice,”where he is listed as an executive producer.
Of course, anybody can be an executiveproducer — you’re reading this, so you cancall yourself executive producer of reading.
Yet why would the future president of theUnited States want credit for making acheesy reality show, currently starringa guy who supported John Kasich in theprimaries?If you think of an answer, tweet it.
Trump’s alleged oversight has not stopped“Celebrity Apprentice” from being a prettypathetic effort at entertainment. This weekit lost in the ratings to “The Bachelor.”The new candidate there is a guy namedNick who has already been on three realitydating shows before. He has not found love,so it does seem as if his life requires a newdirection. I am thinking the next stop’s theIowa caucuses
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